Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Fun with hyperbole!

Skinny old man disgraces himself. Again. “Harry Reid: Republicans Are Totally Like that Earthquake in Nepal”.

Right, right. And Harry Reid is totally like fictional Senator Pat Geary in The Godfather - Part II, who wakes up one morning next to a dead prostitute and winds up in the mob’s pocket as a result.

Although, judging by his recent injuries, it looks like Reid might have made an unsuccessful attempt to climb out of that pocket.

Tony “Exercise Bands” Caputo says:

“Listen, dere wasn’t nuttin’ to dat yarn about Senator Reid gettin’ beat up. He just had hisself a little accident woikin’ out. Ain’t no big t’ing. Coulda happened to anybody. Could happen to you if ya ain't careful”

Are there any donations Hillary Clinton won't accept?

In truth, I bet she's not too happy with these (H/T: Captain Heinrichs).

Life in the progressive paradise

Kevin D. Williamson reflects on the interesting connection between progressive government and unlivable cities.
The evidence suggests very strongly that the left-wing, Democratic claques that run a great many American cities — particularly the poor and black cities — are not capable of running a school system or a police department. They are incompetent, they are corrupt, and they are breathtakingly arrogant. Cleveland, Philadelphia, Detroit, Baltimore — this is what Democrats do.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Not so great, not even pretty good, Britain

Ed Miliband, Labour Party politician and wanna-be prime minister of the UK, wants to make Islamophobia a crime. Roger Kimball takes a close look at this madness here.

Hey, why stop there, Ed? If stamping out phobias is your bag, think big.

But of course this isn’t really about a genuine “phobia”; it’s about proscribing attitudes, thoughts and speech that might otherwise enable sensible people to convert their perfectly rational concerns into effective policies of defense against a largely unassimilable minority that includes not only a core of cold-blooded murderers who seek to destroy their host, but also a larger number of sympathizers and enablers who brazenly claim victimhood status, thereby providing cover for the fire-breathing fanatics in their midst and utterly confounding Britain’s mush-headed bureaucracy and pusillanimous, wrong-headed intelligentsia.

Evil is destructive, perfect evil is ultimately self-destructive - which is why, whether or not Miliband is crazy, his proposal is positively wicked.

Al Capone on the Clintons: the Brad Smilo interview


Good evening, America, this is Brad Smilo reporting from 1929 Chicago, where I’ve journeyed via the incredible Chrono-Cruiser, developed by those inventive geniuses at Paco Laboratories (“Better Living Through Chimeras”).

Tonight we want to talk with Mr. Al Capone, noted…er…

Capone: Used furniture dealer, Brad.

Smilo: Yes, that’s right, Chicago’s most successful used furniture salesman. Mr. Capone, you’ve had a chance to digest some of the news items I’ve brought back from the America of 2015, and one thing that stands out clearly is the ability of Hillary Clinton to push ahead with her presidential candidacy, in spite of the fact that she and her husband, former president in his own right, William Jefferson Clinton, have been dogged by scandals, the latest one stemming from their charitable foundation and its usefulness as a cash-generator for the Clintons’ lavish lifestyle and ambitious political aspirations. As a man who, ummm, has generated some publicity concerning his own sources of cash flow, what do you think of this?

Capone: I’ll tell yez, Brad, I’m just stunned. If you’d a’ come in here right after I finished readin’ all deez reports you gave me, I bet you’d a-said, “Dere’s a guy what looks like he’s just been poleaxed.” Not even dat double-crosser who got his brains beat out wit’ a baseball bat at a dinner I t’rew not long ago – not by me, a-course, by some udder mug what was showin’ us all how Babe Rute goes for da long ball, just a’ misfortunate accident, ya know what I’m sayin’? – not even dat guy prolly looked as surprised as I do now.

Smilo: Would you characterize your response as being somewhat appalled?

Capone: “Appalled”…Is dat like when yez find out some udder fellah’s pulled a fast one dat makes yer own plays look kinda penny-ante? Yeah, appalled, dat’s what I am. If only I hadda knew dat holdin’ some kinda official position in government could give ya cart-branch – sorry, Brad, dat’s a frog expression meanin’ do whatever t’hell ya want – cart branch to line yer pockets under da allspices of a charity racket, I wouldn’t-a wasted all dat dough on payin’ off politicians like Big Bill Thompson; I woulda been one, myself, and set up some combination for jimmyin’ da cash boxes a’ all dem foreign impotentates.

Smilo: So you have what you might call a grudging admiration for the Clintons’ acquisitiveness?

Capone: “Acquisitiveness”…Dat’s like when ya ask alotta questions, right? Sure, sure, I guess dey had to ask aroun’ quite a bit ta get da inside skinny on promotin’ dere scheme, but what I really admire is how dey grab for da geetus wit’ both hands, comin’ and goin’. Bad for da country, though.

Smilo: How is that?

Capone: In my day, politicians – and for dat matter, furniture salesman like me - are s’posed to give value for money. But what does Hillary Clinton offer? Speeches! Have yez ever heard her talk? Just goin’ by what I read in deez news accounts, she sounds like da head nurse at some laughin’ academy, readin’ out da day’s lunch menu to da loonies. A-course, between youse, me and da lamp post we know da money’s really to buy future political favors. But only da big shots can afford dat kinda dough. Da little guys’ll wind up gettin’ hurt ‘cuz dey can’t scrounge up da price a’ admission, so dey get t’rown under da bus. And at da end a da day, it’s da little guys who buy yer beer.

Smilo: Or furniture.

Capone: Didn’t I say furniture, Brad?

Smilo: Er, maybe so. I’ll check my transcript when I get back to the office.

There you have it, folks. Al Capone’s unique take on the Clinton money-making machine. This is Brad Smilo with Paco World News Daily (PWND).

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Sunday funnies

Putting your cat to good use.

It's always something.

Great sculptures (until the tide comes in).

Oh, I've been there, believe me: 33 funny exam answers.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Sure, why not?

The 1920's were the golden age of gangsters, the 1980's were the golden age of the cocaine cowboys - why shouldn't Eric Holder's tenure as Attorney General be the golden age of government lawlessness?

Friday, April 24, 2015

Happy Feet Friday

Vaughan Monroe brings his rich baritone to bear on Riders in the Sky.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Teats on a boar

The GOP establishment continues to demonstrate its uselessness as 10 Republicans (including the always predictable Mitch McConnell) vote with the Democrats to confirm Loretta Lynch as Attorney General. So I guess they’re ok with Ms. Lynch’s endorsement of Obama’s rule by unconstitutional fiat.

I confess that, in my less charitable moments, I have considered sending Mitch some Harry Reid signature exercise bands.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Scott Walker gets closer to clinching my vote

"Scott Walker celebrates Earth Day by firing 57 environmental agency employees".

Clint Eastwood doubles down on Michael Moore

Be afraid, fat boy, be very afraid.

Of Aaron Hernandez and Ludwig van Beethoven

Hillary's supporters tie themselves in knots trying to describe her campaign.

Sounds to me like a clear case of self-defense

"A Colorado man who has been 'fighting with his computer for the last several months' unloaded a volley of shots into his Dell tormentor, resulting in the death of the computer and him being cited for discharging a firearm, cops report."

In other self-defense news, a 74-year-old grandmother in Texas turns the tables on another idiot who brought a knife to a gunfight.


So far, Scott Walker seems to be the GOP candidate with the strongest position on amnesty and immigration, turning the issue into a pro-U.S-worker argument.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Wisconsin’s still part of America, right?

Seriously, is it? Or did it get traded to Russia for a province to be named later?

In any event, politically-motivated home invasions by law enforcement strike me as just about the most unconstitutional thing on offer these days in terms of the ongoing disintegration of our civil rights. Plus, there is the not inconsiderable chance that someone is going to get killed simply by accident.


My old home movies have a better chance of winning a prize at Cannes than Lindsey Graham has of becoming the GOP presidential nominee.

This is the kind of utter detachment from reality that makes me wonder if ghosts aren’t simply the disembodied egos of mega-narcissists, over which even the natural laws of physics and biology have an incomplete hold.

Ted Cruz schools the NYT

On the subject of gun rights.
On questions of the Constitution — and the Bill of Rights and our fundamental liberties — I, for one, am content to stand with Jefferson, Hamilton, and Madison, even if the New York Times “just doesn’t get” their arguments.
Read the whole thing (I love this guy).

Hillary, the cash cow

A new book by investigative reporter Peter Schweizer promises to be a good read: Clinton Cash: The Untold Story of How and Why Foreign Governments and Businesses Helped Make Bill and Hillary Rich. And if she’s elected, maybe someone will eventually write a book entitled How America Completely Lost Its Mind and Made the Inevitability of President Cankles a Self-Fulfilling Prophesy.

BTW, picked up the “cash cow” bit in the title of this post from Small Dead Animals (one of those things I wish I had thought of).

Monday movie

Roger Livesey and a very young Anthony Newley exchange bodies in the 1948 version of Vice Versa.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Vote for anybody but Hillary

Do it for Larry Darrell Upright.

Sunday funnies

Hillary Clinton enjoys a commanding lead among people in this demographic (H/T: Captain Heinrichs).

Every wedding can use a little comedy.

Hillary Clinton prepares for Mission: Chipotle.

Why is your millennial crying?

Words can acquire new meanings over time. So, I guess the last laugh is on Al Smith.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Happy Feet Friday

Some rich harmony from the Sons of the Pioneers.

Hillary's campaign just a series of self-inflicted wounds

Now her Cankleship is lying about her "immigrant" grandparents.

Maybe her campaign ought to just go with this logo...

Thursday, April 16, 2015

So long to Harlan County

Last night was the series finale for one of my all-time favorite television shows, Justified. The saga of U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens fighting serial (and oft times overlapping) wars against a small army of bad guys – ranging from Detroit mobsters to local redneck drug dealers – was, in reality, an updating of the traditional western (even down to Givens’ cowboy hat), but it stayed true to the genre’s main themes: the lonely lawman’s courageous struggle against the nihilism and barbarity of self-proclaimed outlaws, whose hands are set against everyone who gets in their way.

And what a marvelous cast! I can’t even imagine any modern actor but Timothy Oliphant playing the tall, squint-eyed Givens, and Walton Goggins was an absolute revelation as the articulate, single-minded, po’ boy-cum-outlaw, Boyd Crowder. It is a tribute to the acting skills of Goggins (and to the fine writing and direction, of course) that Crowder, in spite of his murderous pursuit of wealth and power, was able to compel a grudging admiration for his brains, his wit and his touching loyalty to Ava Crowder, one of the most fatal of femmes in TV drama (beautifully portrayed by Joelle Carter).

Nick Searcy added both gravitas and comedy as Givens’ long-suffering boss, Jacob Pitts and Erica Tazel were outstanding as fellow-deputies and foils to Givens’ unorthodox methods, and Jere Burns was a frequent scene-stealer as the sleazy wisecracking crook who demonstrated an unparalleled genius for survival. The casting was excellent from top to bottom - main characters, occasional walk-ons and even the bit players. So many wonderful performances: Sam Elliot as the would-be weed tycoon; Mary Steenburgen as his silky, predatory mistress; Mykelti Williamson, the calculating African-American boss of "the holler"; and, although he only appeared in the final season, Jonathan Tucker as the chillingly composed and ruthlessly lethal Boon, a hired gunman who fancies himself as a kind of modern-day Billy the Kid. Simply too many fine actors and performances to mention them all here. “Epic” is a much overused word, but it clearly applies to both the scope of the overarching plot and to the depth of talent that marked this show.

The writing was always pitch-perfect, tight and highly creative, enabling the successive themes and plot lines to unfold with admirable continuity, the dialog unfailingly sharp and fresh. And a final note: the show avoided the knee-jerk stereotyping of poor, rural white people as knuckle-dragging morons. Sure, some of the characters were remarkably, even comically dumb (one thinks immediately of the hapless Dewey Crowe); but mostly, even the poorest denizens of the Kentucky hill country depicted in the series came across as nuanced and reasonably complex, and if not always intellectually gifted (although several clearly were), at least possessing an animal cunning that enabled many of them to run rings around the outsiders who constantly threatened their own simple, but jealously guarded, traditions and prerogatives.

A huge tip of the hat to the shade of Elmore Leonard, whose handful of Givens stories served as the inspirational nucleus for this powerful and engrossing television series.

TSA continues to shine

We’re, ah, in the very best of hands.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Hey, they all work for me

Powerline’s Monday Pictures feature provides an inspired collection of prospective Hillary Clinton logos.

Two of my favorites:

Oh, we kin get ridda yo bruddah, I gar-an-tee

CEO of Louisiana company allegedly paid two law enforcement officers $100,000 to plant drugs in his brother’s car and then arrest him for possession.


Me: Is this the Iowa Highway Patrol?

IHP: Yes, what can we do for you?

Me: In the van! Look in Hillary’s van! Under the front passenger seat!

IHP: Sir, is this an emergency?

Me: It sure is!

Everybody sing!

Monday, April 13, 2015

Assortment (Hillary Clinton edition)

Hillary is taking a road trip to Iowa in her “Scooby” van (because that’s what middle-class people do). Here’s a brief video of her advance team in action:

Victor Davis Hanson asks “Why is Hillary even running?” This looks about right: “No record — ever — of success, no innate charm, eloquence, brilliance, or campaign savviness. And given her iconic female candidacy, her turn, her money — and the lack of an alternative — Hillary Clinton needs no agenda, whether a past one to defend or a future one to rally to. The agenda is simply that Americans are not doing well because of all sorts of illiberal enemies who conspire to thwart them due to their class, race, and gender — and the nation’s first woman president will make it all nice.”

Caution: Bridge Out!

Smitty advises us on the appropriate titles to use when referring to our next president.

The Billary machine (time for some sand in the gas tank).

Getting by on $300,000 per speech.

There is something Hillary fears (no, not a bucket of water; or not just a bucket of water, at any rate).

She's off to a great start

Oops! Clinton's press announcement says that she has "fought children and families all her career".

Probably the first and last true thing that will come out of her campaign.

Monday movie

Richard Widmark is a would-be wrestling impresario in the gritty noir film, Night and the City.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Sunday funnies

Many in the Twitterverse are speculating on what Hillary's big Sunday announcement could possibly be.

Looks like a life-time supply (H/T: David Thompson).

Men, if you're dying of hunger, this Saudi cleric has some good news for you.

A wedding RSVP card that covers just about every contingency.

The way text-message autoreplies ought to work.

Well, they do say that the criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.

Know your beers.

Friday, April 10, 2015

Man wearing world’s largest “Kick Me” sign kicked again

This time by Fidel Castro’s little brother.
[Raul] Castro also has made other demands that the U.S. surely won’t meet, such as reparations for economic damages caused by the U.S. embargo on Cuba and the immediate transfer of Guantanamo Bay to the Cuban government.

Those seemingly unrealistic requests have led many analysts to question whether Mr. Castro truly wants to mend fences with the U.S. or whether he has been forced to begin cooperating with Washington out of sheer economic necessity.
Related, breaking news stories (PWND News Service):

Admiral of Bolivian Navy suggests mutual security pact with Cuba against U.S.

President Obama seeks vacation rental in Andorra; Andorran ambassador advises “pound sand”.

Republic of Palau commences war canoe maneuvers off coast of Hawaii.

Happy Feet Friday

Pure instrumental exuberance from the great Fats Waller, with Carolina Shout.

Thursday, April 9, 2015


Ted Cruz sweetens the deal.

Rand Paul announces his candidacy and immediately wades into the press corps, fists flying (and good for him, I say; a non-establishment Republican, to be successful in national politics, has to talk to the voters over the heads of the Dem-symp media these days).

Barack Obama chides his “fellow” Christians at a prayer breakfast, but seems strangely detached from the suffering of his purported co-religionists in those parts of the world where members of another religion are setting new standards for intolerance and savagery.

Scott Walker responds to criticism of his lack of foreign policy experience by a guy who’s had to wear a dunce cap so frequently as a result of his own ignorance of the subject that it should be retired when he leaves office.

See Marie say nice things about Obama’s Iran deal. See Marie get mad when man asks questions. “Don’t use big words”, says Marie.

Oh, and by the way, this just in from Barry's new BFF: "Khamenei accused the Obama administration of 'lying' about the proposed terms, being 'deceptive,' and having 'devilish' intentions."

Ah, California. Where that knock on your bathroom door might very well be the governor, letting you know that your shower time is up. And, of course, you can’t have a Grade-A police state without your vigilant neighborhood snitches.

Man to get head transplant?

I believe I'll have to take this story with a fist-sized grain of salt.

But if true, I think it's a bad idea. I'm sure you all remember what happened the last time something like this was tried...

Another Obama success story

The actions of the gun-controller-in-chief have sent firearms sales through the roof.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

More incredible comments from Barry

If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. If you like your insurance policy, you can keep your insurance policy. The deal with Iran represents peace in our time. “Bees are good. They won't land on you. They won't sting you.”

Is Obama's foreign policy succeeding or failing?

Daniel Pipes says that Barry's policies have at least one big fan: Obama himself. And there is a method to his madness - although the method is pretty crazy, too:
Is this a random series of errors by an incompetent leadership or does some grand, if misconceived, idea stand behind the pattern? To an extent, it's ineptitude, as when Obama bowed to the Saudi king, threatened Syria's government over chemical weapons before changing his mind, and now sends the U.S. military to aid Tehran in Iraq and fight it in Yemen.

But there also is a grand idea and it calls for explanation. As a man of the left, Obama sees the United States historically having exerted a malign influence on the outside world. Greedy corporations, an overly-powerful military-industrial complex, a yahoo nationalism, engrained racism, and cultural imperialism combined to render America, on balance, a force for evil.
In his own mind, Obama is the conquering hero of virtually every left-wing political fantasy of the last 50 years. What is so outrageous, as I've said before, is that he considers the rest of us to be mere bit players in the great unfolding drama of his life and accomplishments (starring, written by and directed by Barack H. Obama). I do not know of a bigger or more dangerous case of narcissism in America's political history.

Monday, April 6, 2015

Monday movie

An old dog must learn some new tricks in this scene from The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp.

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Friday, April 3, 2015

Home on the range

Took an hour off from work this morning to go to the NRA’s indoor firing range here in Fairfax (stress relief). One of my colleagues received a ridiculously long and pointless email from one of our directors yesterday, so I printed it out (three hardcopy pages, it turned out to be), and “redacted” the thing, alternating between a Smith & Wesson Model 58 .41 Magnum revolver and an EAA Witness .38 Super semi-automatic pistol (double-plus stress relief).

I was using 210 grain semi-wadcutters in the .41 Magnum. Easy shooting in single-action mode, but a tough trigger pull in double; the great thing about the .41, though, is if you use it in a defensive situation, the assailant is going down, no matter where you hit him. The .38 Super was pure pleasure all the way round: low recoil, deadly accurate and zero malfunctions. And it takes a 17-round magazine (I’ve got three). The Witness is manufactured by Tanfoglio of Italy. Mine is full-size, all-steel frame, a very solid, reliable gun – and disassembly for cleaning is easy for even the least mechanically inclined (such as yours truly). I’m so impressed with the quality, in fact, that I’m thinking of picking up the compact version of the Witness .45ACP.

A cup of coffee and the smell of cordite in the morning; tough to beat.

Happy Feet Friday

Johnny Otis and his band rock the New Orleans Shuffle (dig Pete Lewis on guitar).

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Societal norms are dissolving so quickly...

...that a satirical story like this could easily turn out to be true in the near future: "Elite Abortion Clinic Now Offers ‘Sim Abortions’ For Gay Men".

Update: One has to be a bit skeptical of articles published on April 1st, but I find this intriguing, if actually true (and perfectly plausible, even if not true): "A brothel that benefited from Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid’s (D-Nev.) support of the state’s legalized prostitution industry has offered to throw his retirement party."

Gary Ross Dahl, RIP

One of the great inspirational influences on the business strategy of the Paco Enterprises empire has died.

Gary Ross Dahl, inventor of the Pet Rock, departed this mortal coil earlier this week at the age of 78. His picture will now hang alongside those of the other spiritual fathers of Paco Enterprises in our corporate board room, including Ivar Kreuger, Charles Ponzi, and Jay Gould. In fact, Dahl shall have pride of place, for he never actually cheated anyone; he simply got lots of people to pay for what was obviously a joke.

Can Scott Walker carry the dog-owners' vote?

It is always the silly season at the New York Times.

Thomas Sowell points out the criminally negligent folly of Obama's deal with Iran

John "Not-Exactly-Talleyrand" Kerry, in doing the bidding of his master, the elongated Napoleon, is helping midwife a future disaster. Dr. Sowell explains the fallacy of assuming that other governments share our definition of what is "unthinkable":
It is amazing — indeed, staggering — that so few Americans are talking about what it would mean for the world’s biggest sponsor of international terrorism, Iran, to have nuclear bombs, and to be developing intercontinental missiles that can deliver them far beyond the Middle East.

Back during the years of the nuclear stand-off between the Soviet Union and the United States, contemplating what a nuclear war would be like was called “thinking the unthinkable.” But surely the Nazi Holocaust during World War II should tell us that what is beyond the imagination of decent people is by no means impossible for people who, as Churchill warned of Hitler before the war, had “currents of hatred so intense as to sear the souls of those who swim upon them.”

Have we not already seen that kind of hatred in the Middle East? Have we not seen it in suicide bombings there and in suicide attacks against America by people willing to sacrifice their own lives by flying planes into massive buildings, to vent their unbridled hatred?