Wednesday, May 23, 2018

John Brennan, "Mastermind"

John Brennan's attempt at blowing up Trump's presidency looks to be about as successful as the pathetic scheme of Guy Fawkes. George Neumayer at The American Spectator covers Brennan's role in this farce in detail. I find it particularly hilarious that Brennan used a bogus tip from Estonia's intelligence agency to start the ball rolling. I wonder how that went?

The scene: John Brennan's bedroom, well past midnight.


"Psssst! John! Oh, Johhhhnnnnyyyy!"



"Z-z-z-z...*Cough!*...Ummm...Gus Hall, he's our man, if he can't do it, nobody can-n-n...Z-z-z-z..."



"Ach! Vat a kakker! Vake up, John! I haff news fur yew!"



"Huh? Wha...what's that? Who are you? How did you get in here?"



"I yam Estonian secret agent, at your service! Ve are ver' gewd at de late night sneakings."



"Gawrsh! An Estonian secret agent! So, Estonia...That's somewhere near the Bahamas, right?"



[Sotto voce: "Ach, sa oled idioot!"] "No, is Baltic Republic".



"Oh, so down around Serbia."



"Is BALTIC republic, not Balkan republic! Never mind. Listen. Yew haff great hatings for dis fellow Trump, yes?"



"Grrrrrr!"



"Gewd, gewd. I haff information dat yew can use against his presidential campaign. De Ruskis are giffing him much rubles. Yew take dat back to your FBI and tell, yes? Giff dis feller Trump much trouble."


"But how do I know this is true?"


"Yew haff vord of Estonian secret agent! Estonians never lie. Vell-known fact."


"But I don't even know your name or your position as an Estonian secret agent."


"Of course not! Vouldn't be a secret, denn, vould it?"


"Hmm. M'yes, you've got a point there. Thanks for the information. I'll get right on this."


"Jah, jah, yew do dat. You are needing anyt'ing else - more political secrets, birch firewood, dates vit' pretty Estonian girls whose favorite t'ings are including reindeer, herring sandwiches and taking de long valks on ice floes - ve are being glad to provide. Head aega, Johnny!"

* * * * * * * * *

The following morning...


"Ok, boss. The seed has been planted. The soil is not too deep, but there's plenty of fertilizer, so this idea looks like a winner."



"Excellent!"

6 comments:

Mike_W said...

Hahaha

JeffS said...

You'd think that a group of experience operatives and law enforcement officers wouldn't behave like a bunch of Keystone Cops.

RebeccaH said...

Um ... that Estonian secret agent speaks with a suspiciously Swedish-sounding accent.

Paco said...

He was probably posted in Stockholm for awhile.

bruce said...

I worked with an Estonian in my first full time job (45 years ago).
When he swore it sounded like 'aahzi fagaan!' I remember.

I had a crush on his kid sister with olive skin and blonde hair. Some things you don't forget.

rinardman said...

"Mastermind!"

That's funny.